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인생의 모든 것중 부부와 자녀의 관계가 가장 어렵고도 중요하다 하겠지요.
한국 최대규모 교회의 하나인 서울 서초동 '사랑의교회'설립자 옥한음 목사님이 암으로 승천하시기 전에 자신의 애제자 목사 몇몇에게 수차례 고백겸 훈시한 말씀은" 설교를 어떻게 하라"가 아니라
"내가 가장 잘못한 것이 있으니 너희는 그리하지 말라. 사역에만 힘쏟다 보니 내 자식들을 자주 부둥켜 안아주지 못해서 이들 이 다 삐둘어져 버린 것이 그것이다.
큰 나무 그늘에서는 작은 나무들이 클 수 없음을 이제 깨달았으나 너무 늦어 버렸다...제발 나처럼 되지들 말아라" 라는 것이지요.
하나님의 사랑같은 아가페는 인간에게는 모성애 뿐인데, 아내는 남편에게 남편은 아내에게 모성애 같은 큰 사랑을 요구하다보니, 여인에게 남편은 마치 전처의 아들을 맏아들로 키우며 사는 듯하지요. 기대하는 효도를 하기에 남성에게 있어 그런 사랑은 애초에 불가능하기 때문이지요.
여인은 아예 자기배로 낳지 않은 맏아들에게 효도가까지는 기대하지 말아야 하고, 남자도 자기 엄마같은 사란을 계모같은 아내에게 요구하지 말아야 부부가 화목하다 하겠습니다.
암튼 아가페라는 것 남자가 하기에 좀 힘듭니까? - 휘남
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Amongst all the relationship in this world, those of couples and those of parents and kids are the most difficult and yet important ones.
Rev. Ock HanEum, the pastor who started one of the biggest churches in Korea, "The Church of Love" in SeoChoDong in Seoul died of a cancer. Before he passed away, he left a lesson to his favorite disciple pastors as his confession as well, not on "how to preach" but on "what not to do as he failed."
He said, "I failed greatly in one area which I do not want you to repeat. I failed to embrace my kids to uphole them, often having poured all my efforts on doing the church works alone, and I now realize too late that that's why all my kids went astray, and I do not want you all to repeat the mistake that I made. Little trees can not grow well under the shadow of a bigger tree, and I realize this too late, please do not repeat the mistake that I made."
The example of Agape Love of God can only be seen among mankind in the mothers' love for their kids. Spouses want similar agape love as mother's love from each other, wife from her husband and husband from his wife.
To wives, their husbands are like the eldest son of their husbands' previous wives, and thus they treat their husbands likewise. And then similarly wives expect their husbands to behave like filial sons to their parents. And such expectation of wives for filiality from their husbands, no husbands can meet, and that's a grim reality.
Wives should not expect filial duties from their pseudo eldest sons to whom they did not give birth, and husbands should not expect from their stepmother like wives mother's love. And that's the only way couples can maintain happy marriages, I believe.
Well, isn't Agape Love that no man can do?
-Hweenam
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